Introduction
Summary
The Great
Commandment
But what
is Love
Worldly, Self-Focused, Conditional..
Spiritual, God Focused,
Unconditional...
To
Love God.
To
Love others as ourselves.
Our
Love for others.
Judging
others.
Why
do we go through conflict
God Disciplines His Children...
Our Father allows conflict to happen...
We don't listen to our Father...
Satan causes trouble in our lives...
When
we are feeling Unloved.
Feeling his presence...
Listening
to him...
Talking to him...
Love
your enemy
A personal affirmation
Our
Journey in life.
The Fruit of the
Spirit
Love
is patient...
Love
is kind...
Love
is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude...
Love
does not demand its own way...
Love
is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged...
Love
does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins
out...
Love never gives up, never loses
faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance...
The Great Commandment is based on
the Christian theme of
our Love for God, ourselves and others.
Most people believe that there is
something greater than ourselves.
Summary
The
Bible is about our relationships with God, ourselves and each other.
The Great Commandment
has two parts:
1) Love for God,
2) Love others as
thyself.
Our
Love for God is reflected in our Love for ourselves and each other,
AND, our
Love for ourselves and each other is reflected in our Love for God.
Two types of Love:
1) Worldly,
Self-Focused, Conditional,
Philautia:
Love for Self, Healthy, Respectful
Eros:
Love for Sex, Healthy, Respectful
Ludus:
Love for Joy, Happiness, Playful Love
Storge:
Love for Family, Forgiveness,
Acceptance and Sacrifice
Philia:
Love for Each other, Brotherly Love
Agape:
Love for Humanity, Universal Love,
God's Love
2) Spiritual, God
Focused,
Unconditional.
Patient: Not jumping to conclusions or
making rash decisions,
Kindness: Gentleness, compassion, giving,
not envious,
Humble: Modest, not proud or rude or
arrogant,
Accepting: None judging, Non demanding,
accepting ourselves and
others for who they are,
Forgiving: Not irritable, not holding
past transgressions against ourselves
and others,
Truthfulness: Maintains justice, honest
to ourselves and others,
Enduring: Lasting, persistent, bears all
things.
To
have a Spiritual Love for others is very hard. Most of the time we
operate in
the Worldly Love. We put conditions on our Love. None of us are
perfect, we all
sin. We get tired and grumpy, and lose the plot. We all learn about
Love from
significant others in our childhood.
Anything
that is done to others out of our own Spirit does not come from God. To
operate
in the Spirit we need to have that Spiritual Love for ourselves and
others. We
need to be in that special place where our own feelings, prejudices and
preconceptions are removed.
- If we cannot be Patient
with ourselves how can we be Patient
with others?
- If we cannot be Kind
to ourselves how can we be Kind to
others?
- If we cannot be Humble
with ourselves how can we be Humble
with others?
- If we cannot be Accepting
with ourselves how can we be Accepting
with others?
- If we cannot be Forgiving
with ourselves how can we Forgive
others?
- If we cannot be Honest
with ourselves how can we be Honest
with others?
- If we cannot be Enduring
with ourselves how can we be Enduring
with others?
"Master,
which
is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt
Love the
Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all
thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto
it, Thou
shalt Love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all
the law
and the prophets." (Matthew
22
36-40 KJV).
We
all sin, none of us are
perfect. Its in our nature to
put ourselves first to survive. We are drawn into this world with all
of it's
promises and expectations. We loose sight of the more important things
in Life
in our pursuit for happiness.
Jesus
Christ shows us another way
that is not of this
world, but of the Holy Spirit, and eternal.
Jesus Christ (the Son) is our Lord and Saviour. He
works with
the Farther and the Holy Spirit together as one body, just as the
Church is one
body with many parts. Our Lord Jesus Christ came to Earth to show us
another
way to live. Doesn't Jesus want us to share his message of Love and
Peace to
all the World? Of course he does. The gifts we have been given are to
show the
power of God's Love, but the fruit of the Spirit is Love... (Galatians
5:22-26 KJV).
The
Great Commandment has two
parts:
1)
Love for God,
2)
Love others as thyself
Jesus
made a point of separating
the great commandment
into 2 parts for good reason.
A
lot of people think that to Love others as
thyself naturally flows
from a Love for God. This is
definitely not the case. Most of the Bible is
about our relationships with each other. If Loving God led to Loving
each other
Jesus would not have made the distinction.
The
Great Commandment summarises
the 10 Commandments
given to Moses on Mount Sinai, and the Lords Prayer given by Jesus. The
first
part of the 10 Commandments and the Lords Prayer are about our
relationship
with God, and the second part is about our relationships with each
other.
The
New Commandment Jesus gave his
disciples at the Last
Supper summarises or joins both parts of the Great Commandment into
one, "A new command I give you:
Love one another. As I have
loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know
that you
are my disciples, if you love one another." (John
13:34-35 NIV). In
this commandment the emphasis
is on our relationships with each other rather than on our relationship
with
God, because Love comes from God.
The
Old Testament is full of
examples where God is
unhappy with his people because of their wickedness. The story of Noah
is
probably the greatest example of God's grief. The Book of Isiah shows
us of the
Jewish disobedience to God.
The
New Testament is full of
instruction of how we should
Love each other. The Sermon on the Mount and the Lords Prayer are
probably the
best examples of how we should Love each other.
Jesus
uses the story of The Good
Samaritan (Luke
10:25-37 NIV)
to show the Jews how they should
Love their Neighbor.
"Which
of these
three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands
of
robbers?" The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on
him." Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."
(Luke
10:25-37 NIV).
It
is important to understand that
the Samaritans were
despised because they did not have the same belief in God as the Jews,
but they
had Love for others. The Jews had Faith in God, but no Love for others.
Unfortunately,
the Jews were also divided amongst themselves in their Faith in God.
The
parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke
15:11-32 NIV) shows
us that we have a choice to follow and be
with our Father, or, go our own way. Our Father always Loves us
regardless of
what we do, however, we are always at the mercy of our carnal nature
(Satan). Neither
son asked for Grace or Forgiveness. The youngest son felt that he
didn't
deserve it because of his sin, and the oldest son felt that he didn't
need it
because of his righteousness. The youngest son's sin, and the eldest
son's
pride and arrogance kept them both away from their fathers Love. While
our Father
can not do anything for us when we leave him, his heart cries out for
us and
hopes for our return.
The
Greeks described different types of Love for
different situations.
Philautia:
Love for Self,
Healthy, Respectful
Eros:
Love for Sex,
Healthy, Respectful
Ludus:
Love
for Joy, Happiness, Playful Love
Storge:
Love for Family,
Forgiveness, Acceptance and Sacrifice
Philia:
Love for Each
other, Brotherly Love
Agape: Love for
Humanity, Universal Love, God's Love
There
is nothing wrong with the above, they are all important
parts of our lives. Of course we put more value in people we know over
people
we don't know, this is normal. We put conditions on how we Love others
for good
reason. We need to be very careful who we trust. Satan is out there
waiting to
deceive us.
When
we are feeling dejected and miserable and not understood
or Loved, Satan gets into our spirit and we feel rejected by the very
people we
trusted. We can loose faith in ourselves and others. We can crawl into
a hole
and withdraw from the world. We can look for Love in other places to
fill that
void. Loneliness (feeling of being unloved) is one greatest causes of
emotional
and physical problems.
Satan
can also deceive us in other ways. Our age, Genes
and Hormones have a huge impact in our lives. When we are young our
bodies are
changing. We may test our boundaries and explore the world around us.
We take
for granted what we have been given. We may experience a midlife crises
or menopause
and everything runs amuck. When we get older we may learn from our
experiences
and see everything from a different perspective. Our values may change
as we
move from childhood to adult to old age.
We
all see the world from our own perspective. Our
culture and way of living when we grow up have a huge unconscious
impact in our
lives. When we are young we may get hurt by others and lose Faith,
trust or
confidence in everyone else because of those experiences. We may think
we are
doing the right thing, but are we? For some, to Love others is to treat
others
as they have been treated, that they deserve justice and not Love. We
should be
able to learn from our own misfortunes and from the troubles of others
rather than
judging them.
We
may see something we don't like or goes against our
own feelings, beliefs or how we do things and automatically judge that
behaviour or action according to those feelings or beliefs. I know I
sometimes have
a Stubborn Spirit inside of me. When someone disagrees with me and
accuses me
of something I didn't say, I take the offensive and accuse them
likewise. I'm
still learning how to manage this.
"Blessed is the
one who always trembles before God, but whoever hardens their heart
falls into
trouble." (Proverbs 28:14 NIV)
According
to the Bible there is only one type of Love.
The
Greeks liked to pull everything apart and put
everything into it's own compartment. However, Jesus has shown us that
Love is
not separate pieces, but the sum of it's parts. Love is one, not many.
"22 But the
fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness,
goodness,
faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there
is no
law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with
its
passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in
step with
the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each
other."
(Galatians 5:22-26 NIV)
As
far as I know there is only one definition of Love in
the bible.
"4 Love is
patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude.
It does
not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of
being
wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever
the truth
wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,
and
endures through every circumstance." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT).
Love is a joyful heart
that looks for the
beauty around it. Love is a thankful heart that makes the most of what
it has.
Love is kind to others. Love doesn't look for what it doesn't have but
freely
shares what it has. Love builds up and doesn't destroy. Love is a
childlike
innocence that is beyond human understanding. Love grieves when it has
been
hurt.
Love
has 7 parts...
Patient: Not jumping to conclusions or
making rash decisions,
Kindness: Gentleness, compassion, giving,
not envious,
Humble: Modest, not proud or rude or
arrogant,
Accepting: None judging, Non demanding,
accepting ourselves and
others for who they are,
Forgiving: Not irritable, not holding
past transgressions against ourselves
and others,
Truthfulness: Maintains justice, honest
to ourselves and others,
Enduring: Lasting, persistent, believes
all things, bears all
things.
Doesn't
the Apostle John say that if we have a Spirit of Love for
another we have the Spirit of God in us (1 John 4:7-9 NLT).
Our
Love for others is often self centered. We put our
own conditions on our Love for others. To Love others means that we
give others
the benefit of the doubt. We have a duty to correct others when they
act out of
self-righteousness, but, this should not come from our own
self-righteousness.
To Love others is to try to understand their own point of view without
judgment, and put across our own point of view in a non-demanding way
where
there is peace and good will.
To
Love others is to treat them as we would like to be
treated, with respect and kindness. We become a role model for the
world to
see. We are judged by our own actions and words to each other,
regardless of
who they are. This does not mean we have to keep company with others
that are
loud, aggressive and self-seeking. We need to avoid these people as
much as
possible. They are vexations to the Spirit. And when we do meet
difficult people
we need to show them Love (2
Timothy 3:1-9, 1
Peter 3:9 NLT). We need to keep company with
others that are
supportive,
reassuring, compassionate and forgiving.
Unfortunately,
there are times when we have no choice in
who we are in the company of. When we are at work or any social
activity there
are going to be people who do not share our beliefs. This can be very
difficult. We can only do so much according our maturity (Faith) in
Christ. Fortunately,
God knows this and we will be forgiven when we confess our sin.
To
Love God
There
is a awareness and belief
that life is something
greater than ourselves. We have an internal drive to cling on to life
here as
we know it. A major part of that drive is to Love and be Loved.
We
have desires, emotions and
dreams that are greater
than our biological functions that give meaning to our lives. We need
to be a
part of something bigger than ourselves. We need fellowship with
others. We
need to feel valued. Without Love our lives are are purposeless and
unfulfilled. God is that reason for living. God
is Love and that Love
comes from God who is in us, and we are in him (1
John 4:16 NLT).
The
word "Love" is used about 310
times in the KJV. Yes
Love is used in different situations and contexts in the Bible, but the
underlying
principle is the same, that we should Love God, ourselves and each
other
unconditionally regardless of who we/they are.
To
have an unconditional Faith in
God is to have an unconditional
Faith in others. Love is the ability to recognise our own feelings in a
situation and to have the tools to be able to overcome those feelings
and learn
how to deal with them properly.
This
takes time and patience. We
are not faultless, we
all learn as we go along our journey and make mistakes, but if we are
forgiving
to ourselves and others, we will be forgiven (Matthew
6: 14-15 NLT).
Our
Lord Jesus came to bring God's
Love to the whole World.
Jesus came to establish a New Covenant and to bring forgiveness to
those who
recognise their sin and prey for forgiveness in their heart. They will
be
forgiven, and, to those others they will not be forgiven. If we Love
God and
others as we Love ourselves we will fulfill God's promise and will be
blessed.
It
seems to me that a lot of
Christians see this World as
a bad evil place. Is this correct? Didn't Jesus refer to our worldly
flesh and
the evil intent in our heart? Isn't the sin in our heart and not in the
world?
Whatever we see around us we have the choice to look for good or evil
in this
world, for there is both good and evil in this World. We can see God's
blessings around us only if we stop to have a look, or we can look for
Satan
around every corner. We can do his work on Earth only if we stop and
Listen to
him in Prayer and meditation, in our heart, soul and mind. Or we can do
Satan's
work.
To
Love the Lord thy God with all
thy heart, and with all
thy soul, and with all thy mind is to Love life itself, because we are
of God.
To Love God is to Love what he has given us with a thankful heart. To
have a
joy in life is to appreciate what we have been given. God gave us the
heavens
and the stars to be amazed by his glory. His signs and wonders are
everywhere
to be seen, if we stop to have a look. Have you never looked up into
the sky on
a clear night? Do you see the darkness? Of course you don't, you see
his
magnificence.
There
is a beauty and majesty
about his creation that we
could never hope to come close to. How often do we take for granted
what God has
already given us? How often do things for our own glory instead of
God's glory?
God
is the Father, Son and Holy
Spirit. God made the
forests and trees perfect in his own image for us to cherish and look
after. However,
we may see a tree and think to our self that a branch is in the wrong
place or
some leaves need to be removed. The more we make the tree perfect in
our own image
the less perfect it becomes in God's image. Are we not the same? The
more we
make ourselves perfect in our own image the less perfect we become in
God's
image.
A
lot of people look for signs,
wonders and miracles as God's
love for us. I am not saying that there is anything wrong in this. They
are
wonderful expressions of his presence. However there is a danger of
becoming preoccupied
with these manifestations. A person may become disappointed when they
do not
happen, or, not recognise or understand where they come from. We loose
sight of
God's Authority and Grace.
I
think there is a moral in this
that when we start
taking God's love for granted or put conditions on his love we may
become
disillusioned and blame our Father, or Satan, for our own or others
troubles.
We don't take authority for our own actions.
"17
pray
continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's
will for
you in Christ Jesus." (1
Thessalonians 5:17-18 NLT).
Always
reflect in prayer and meditation the beauty of God's
creation and what he has already done for you, and others, with a
thankful
heart. It is only then, you will see the Love and Peace inside, that
comes from
God, in yourself and others.
Have
you ever thought about all
the pain and suffering,
and Love, it took to write the Bible. That's how much God Loves us. I
like to
think of the Bible as a chocolate cheesecake (my favorite). We look at
each
verse in the Bible in it's own right and feel the power of the words.
But when
we put the verses together we begin to understand a greater purpose
that has a
beauty and perfection of its own. Just as we have all the ingredients
of a cake
on the table. Each ingredient is special in it's own right, but when
they are
put together with time, effort and Love the whole becomes greater than
it's
parts.
Isn't
God like that, with us.
Hasn't
all the major medical and
scientific achievements
come from someone that has a deep faith in God and a genuine desire to
bless others?
Jesus
clearly states that we must
Love our neighbor as
our self. But what does this mean? To Love our neighbor as our self
doesn't
come naturally. God has given us all the choice to follow him or our
own
worldly desires. It's up to us. We literally have to die to ourselves
and put
our carnal nature behind us. The bible is full of instruction in how we
should
Love ourselves and each other.
God
made us all in his own image.
God is Love and the
Holy Spirit lives in us all. Our Love for God is reflected in our Love
for
ourselves and each other, AND, our Love for ourselves and each other is
reflected in our Love for God.
There
are principles and rules we
need to understand and
follow or we will not make it. When we first learn about our father
through
Jesus we need help and support. All the knowledge is just theory until
we get
into the big bad world. Of course we are going to be disappointed. Of
course
there will be times when we fall and our carnal nature kicks in. We
need others
around us to encourage and inspire us in our time of need. We need to
feel
Loved.
Our
Love languages to ourselves
and each other, both
conscious and unconscious, determines how we Love each other. How
others treat
us affects how we feel about ourselves. How we are feeling about
ourselves is
reflected in how we treat others. We need to be able to release any
negative
emotions in a healthy and positive way so they don't consume us.
When
we feel violated we have
unforgiveness in our heart.
Satan has come in and taken our peace and our Love. We need to seek
justice.
How could that person or people do that to me? It consumes us. I
remember when
my Uncle died I was expecting some money from the estate that was
promised to
me. The executor of his Will refused to give me what I was entitled to
and
tried to blackmail me with threats that I could only get the money on
a set of
conditions. All I could see was justice /revenge that the Lawyer had no
right
to do what he did. I certainly did not Love that Lawyer.
When
we are consumed by
unforgiveness our mind and body
can not function properly.
We
may find that...
We
can't sleep properly.
We
can't remember things
properly.
We
can't make rational
decisions.
We
are emotionally and
mentally worn out.
Our
immune system doesn't work
properly.
We
are physically worn out.
Have
feelings of being
unloved.
Have
impatience with others.
When
a person feels that he/she is
not Loved, it can be a
warning sign that that they don't Love them self. A lack of self Love
can be
caused by a major trauma or a series of small compounding incidents in
a
persons life that lead to a loss of self-worth and rejection. When we
were
younger we may have been told we weren't wanted, are useless, or
regularly
beaten up or locked away from the world like an animal. This
can lead to a circular pattern of thinking (a Self
Fulfilling Prophecy) where a person expects to be rejected
and then
behaves in
such a way that they are rejected.
Does
the person..
Withdraw
from friends and
social activities.
Become
jealous of what others
have?
Persecute/crucify
themselves
or others?
Live
in denial, its someone
else's fault?
Become
self centered, the
whole world revolves around them?
Feel
unsettled and insecure,
and is always looking for a place to rest?
Live
in the past/future because
he/she can't face the present?
Feel
overwhelmed by their
circumstances, depressed?
Feel
they can not manage the
simplest of tasks with out help?
Have
feelings of paranoia,
that the whole world is against them?
Rationalise
everything around
their own point of view?
Look
for the worst in every
situation?
Have
ongoing health issues?
Feel
suicidal?
Because
of these feelings a person
can...
1)
Become shy, fearful, introverted
or withdraw from social contact altogether, or
2)
Over compensate for these
feelings and try to make friends by overreaching the friendships...
Over
stepping others
boundaries in the hope of being Loved,
Give
money or personal things
to others when it is not needed, or
Over
confident, attention
seeking,
Over
emphasising, bragging or
lying about their own importance or achievements,
Crying
to others about their
own situation,
Demanding,
or
3)
Find that they attach
themselves to the same relationships that they had in the past because
that is
all they know. They are used/abused/manipulated by others, or
4)
Develop antisocial
behaviour...
Hoarding,
Abnormal
attachment to
animals,
Bullying/manipulating
others,
putting others down,
Drugs
and alcohol,
Sex
and prostitution,
Stalking
others,
Self
abuse.
Aren't
these people the ones that
need to feel Loved the
most.
If we look for Love in
ourselves and others,
no matter how small, we will find him.
If we look for hate in
ourselves and others,
no matter how small, we will find him.
Better to bring Love, no
matter how small,
out of ourselves and others rather than hate.
We may be surprised at
what we find, and, if
we attend to Love properly it will grow as a mustard seed.
We
feel Loved because we know we
are Loved, AND, we know
we are Loved because we feel Loved. To Love our neighbor as
our self
is to Love, honor and
respect each other as we Love, honor and respect ourselves. To do unto
others
as we would have them do unto us. This is not vanity or pride, but a
Love and
peace in our heart and a good will to ourselves and others.
If we cannot be Patient
with ourselves how can we be Patient
with others?
If we cannot be Kind
to ourselves how can we be Kind to
others?
If we cannot be Humble
with ourselves how can we be Humble
with others?
If we cannot be Accepting
with ourselves how can we be Accepting
with others?
If we cannot be Forgiving
with ourselves how can we Forgive
others?
If we cannot be Honest
with ourselves how can we be Honest
with others?
If we cannot be Enduring
with ourselves how can we be Enduring
with others?
How
can we Love our partner if we
don't Love our self?
How can we Love our children or parents if we don't Love our self? How
can we Love
others if we don't Love our self? Mostly was we just make enemies out
of the
people we should Love.
Sometimes
we are our own worst
enemy when things don't go
the way we want. We don't take responsibility for our own actions. When
the
world crashes around us we can become angry and bitter and look for
Love in all
the wrong places.
Some
people look for Love in
controlling others or in abusive relationships.
Some
people look for Love in
violence; they Love to hate.
Some
people look for Love in
drugs.
Some
people look for Love in
sex and prostitution.
Some
people look for Love in
money and power.
Some
people look for Love in their
work.
Some
people look for Love in
their pets.
Some
people look for Love in
idols or other objects that have a special significance.
Some
people look for Love in a
club or social group.
Some
people look for Love in a
cult or religion.
We
all have buttons that when they
are pushed can lead to
unexpected consequences. Sometimes others unconsciously push a button
that
leads to sadness, anger or resentment. This is a normal human reaction
based on
our past experiences and we lose control of our emotions. We are no
longer at
peace with ourselves, or others. A word or experience may be enough to
push a
button that leads to an emotional response in one person and yet has no
effect
on another person. Father's day, Mother's day, Valentine's Day, a
birthday, a
death or even Christmas can also be a button or trigger that can set of
an
emotional response.
We
can take things out of context
and build mountains out
of mole hills. This is our human nature and God knows this. He can move
that
mountain if we let him. How often do we say to each other "I hate that
person"
when we really hate ourselves because we really know that what that
person is
saying is true? How often do we hate someone because we don't get what
we want
even when we know it's bad or unhealthy for us? How often have we felt
violated
because what someone has said or done to us? How often have we wished
in our
heart some misfortune on ourselves because of what we have done? How
often have
we wished in our heart some misfortune on someone else because of what
they
have done to us? We seek justice according to our own righteousness
with revenge
in our heart. We only end up destroying ourselves and the others we
should Love
in the process.
Don't
worry, you are not alone,
I'm just as guilty as any
one else. I'm not trying to say that I am perfect, I'm not. I have my
problems
and troubles just the same as anyone else. But I know that I am Loved
for who I
am and I don't try to be anything else. And frankly, I don't care if
others
don't like me, it's there problem and not mine, but sometimes I am hurt.
"1
If I speak in
the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a
resounding
gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can
fathom all
mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move
mountains, but
do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all
I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may
boast, but
do not have love, I gain nothing." (1
Corinthians 13:1-3 NIV).
"Nobody
cares
how much you know until they know how much you care."
(Teddy Roosevelt)
"18Dear
children, let us not love with
words
or speech but with actions and in truth. 19This is how we
know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in
his
presence: 20If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than
our
hearts, and he knows everything. 21Dear friends, if our hearts do not
condemn
us, we have confidence before God 22and receive from him anything we
ask,
because we keep his commands and do what pleases him. 23And this is his
command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love
one
another as he commanded us. 24The one who keeps God's commands lives in
him,
and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it
by the
Spirit he gave us." (1 John 3:18-24
NIV)
There
are four types of
relationships that we can have
with others...
Independent:
No reliance on
others. There is no support between others.
Dependent:
One person is
totally dependent on others for their needs.
Codependent:
Mutually
dependent on each other. Nobody can do anything without the
other/others.
Interdependent:
Supports each other
in the relationship. Each person brings something of value into the
relationship.
We
all go through all these types
of relationships in our
day to day lives. When we are on our own we need to be independent and
be able
to manage without any support. When we are young, old, sick, or
disabled we
need the support of others in the relationship. During a crisis we need
to work
together as a team and rely on others to do their fair share. The ideal
situation is to have an Interdependent relationship where everyone can
support
each other, but that rarely happens. It is only by Loving others with a
genuine
unconditional Love that comes from our Father that we can live
fulfilled lives.
Patience, kindness, humility and forgiveness allow us to better
understand
others needs.
Love
does not come from outside,
but from inside. It is
this Love for others that comes from God the Father, Son and Holy
Spirit that
makes us whole. God is patient. God accepts us for
who we are. God first
Loved us, so shouldn't we Love ourselves and each other.
After
all didn't Jesus remind us
that while it is OK to Love
our brothers we are no better than anyone else? It is only when we have
a Love for
our enemies that we really know our Fathers Love. Doesn't God Love and
bless
the wicked and the unjust the same as the righteous? Didn't Jesus ask
us to
prey for and bless our enemies? Didn't Jesus die on the cross to redeem
us of
our Sins. Shouldn't we do the same to others.
Does
a husband Love his wife? Does
a wife Love her
husband? Does a Father/mother Love his/her children? Does a child Love
his/her
parents? Do we Love our neighbor as ourself? Where does our Love for
each
other come from? How do we show that Love to others? Selfish Love comes
from ourselves.
Selfless Love comes from God.
Unfortunately
there are a lot of
people who have not
experienced this genuine Love that comes from our Father. We all learn
about
Love from significant others in our formative years. As children we may
grow up
in a place without Love. Love to some is being abused physically,
emotionally
or mentally. Love to others is being locked away or abandoned, or a
complete lack
of empathy, respect or interest. What we give to our children can
easily become
a generational curse, or a blessing.
When
we are not Loved, all sorts
of other stuff comes in
to fill that void such as self-abuse, greed, controlling others,
dependency on
others, drugs, violence, sexual immorality etc..
I
have met some people in the
Church that are so wounded
by what has happened to them they use religion to escape the reality of
their
lives. Jesus came to release us from our past, not to bind us into our
past by
living in our denial or trying to run away from it. We can pray for
them and
cast out demons. We can bring them into God's presence and any number
of other
things, but, if we haven't given them Love, we have given them nothing (Matthew 12:43-45 NIV).
A
lot of people think that
speaking the truth in Love is
the same as Tough Love. According to Jesus "speaking
the
truth in Love" (Ephesians 4:14-16 NLT)
is kindness, patience, forgiving someone 70 times7, loving your
enemies, giving
to others, going the extra mile, encouraging, building up others so
that they
are valued and looking for the good in others, no matter how small. If
you find
a problem with another, first find the log in your own eye.
And
for God's sake, tell them how
much you Love them and
how important they are to you. Isn't this how God first Loved us? Be
like
Christ and Love others as you are Loved.
This
can sometimes be very tough
to do.
Shouldn't
we greet others with
a smile.
Shouldn't
we support and
encourage each other in their endeavors.
Shouldn't
we share in their
achievements and disappointments.
Shouldn't
we share with others
without groaning or complaining.
Shouldn't
we give others the
benefit of the doubt and forgive them for what they have done to us.
Shouldn't
we apologise with a
sincere heart when we have disappointed them.
Shouldn't
we Love them?
Our
Father already knows when we
have forgiveness our own
heart, and can forgive us of our own sin (Luke
6:37, Matthew 6:14 NLT).
We
can also
give to another any amount of physical bits
and pieces, but if we have not given them Love we have given them
nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3 NLT).
Aren't
we like a tree in a
forest. Most of the time we
can only see the other trees around us and base our decisions on our
past
experiences and what we see around us. We can never see the forest for
what is
is. But God can. God knows the intimate detail of every twig and leaf
in the
forest. How can we presume to demand our own way with others, or even
with God
(Book of Job NIV).
Love
is greater than any other
human desire. Love is the
embodiment of life itself. We all have trials and tribulations in life.
We are
not perfect, we all Sin. Regardless of who we are we all have our
faults and
some more than others, but our Love is made perfect in us through our
Love for God,
ourselves and each other. That's God's promise to us.
"1Do
not judge,
or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you
will be
judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
(Matthew 7: 1-2 NIV)
When
we don't feel comfortable
about a situation or see
others doing something we don't like we gossip and criticise. We may
treat others according our own beliefs and
feelings and unconsciously judge others without realising it. We might
make
assumptions about another person or people because we don't understand,
or
like, what they are saying or doing. We often say things to each other
that are
better off left unsaid.
When
we are stressed we may take
everything personally. Don't
we get disappointed or upset with others when they hurt us. Most of the
time
others are innocent of any wrong doing. I may do something or make a
comment
about something and the other person is offended by the action or
comment. I
may be totally unaware that I offended that person and may get accused
of any
number of things. I would probably react to defend myself. This can set
of a
chain of events that will only end up in more grief and heartache for
everyone
involved. Do we ever think about the consequences of our actions and
what could
happen? What happens when your next door neighbor fills up your
rubbish bin?
I
remember saying to someone that
"I have met a few
Christians that have been hurt by the Church and they want nothing to
do with
it." I got a tirade of condemnation and was challenged why I said that.
I
certainly did not expect the reaction and tried to explain. I was shot
down at
all attempts to clarify. I felt trapped and reacted by attacking the
person.
Sometimes
it's not what is said or
done, it's our own
Spirit that puts the meaning into those words or actions. For example,
if I ask
you come into my office to talk about something. This is an open
request. But,
if you have been physically abused or taken advantage of previously
your mind
relives all those experiences that happened before. If you have been
reprimanded
or verbally chastised before you may prepare yourself for battle.
When
we have a Spirit of Love and
Peace in our heart, we
have God's amour on. We can confidently walk into any situation knowing
that
anything that is thrown at us can be used by God to his advantage. When
we make
peace with others they may see it in our Spirit and things can work to
our,
God's, advantage. Unfortunately this does not work all the time and we
can only
ask our Father to Forgive them and Bless them. If we Bless them we are
not
cursing them.
New
Christians are coming to terms
with their new
identity. Maybe they need 'L' plates. They get things wrong and don't
always
understand what they are doing wrong. They need Discipleship. They need
someone
to walk alongside them to help them when they stumble. They are babies
and can
only take baby food. I have seen new Christians get all fired up about
Jesus,
which is good, and get into a heated debate, which is not good, with
other
Christians, non Christians or atheists who do not have the same
opinions. Jesus
asks us to shake their dust off our feet and move on. Its even happened
to me
where Ive been caught up in some passionate discussions.
"1
Brothers and
sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but
as people
who are still worldly mere infants in Christ. 2 I gave you milk, not
solid
food, for you were not yet ready for it. Indeed, you are still not
ready. 3 You
are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and quarreling among
you, are
you not worldly? Are you not acting like mere humans?" (1 Corinthians 3:1-3 NIV).
Just
as a person learning how to
drive a car needs
supervision. He/she may have studied the road laws, read the books and
learned
all the techniques, but getting into the driving seat is a whole
different
story altogether. Putting theory into practice is a real challenge for
some.
The
new Christian also needs
guidance and correction.
They need to know what they are doing right and wrong. The last thing
they need
is condemnation. They need to feel Loved. God gives us what we need. He
will
never condemn us or let us down.
I
have seen some new Christians
that desperately need our
help, their own problems are so overwhelming they can't see anything
else. They
are hurting inside, they are their own worst enemy.
I
remember an incident where a
person went from one
person to another in a church looking for help. He could not get into a
quiet
place to rest. He needed to unload his troubles. He was very stressed.
This
person successfully destroyed all attempts to help him. Unfortunately
anybody
that tried to help was soon cut down. He demanded this and that. Nobody
could
help him. Word got around the church to avoid that person. And sure
enough,
word got out and things got worse for him. He felt rejected and
unloved. He was
like a lion in a cage trying to get out, and the more he tried, the
worse
things got. We can pray for him, but don't you believe that our Lord
Jesus Christ
wants us to accept and Love him?
I
grew up in a Christian family. I
remember when I was a
child I used to make fun of my youngest brother. When I hurt him my
mother used
to scold me and to apologise to him. I would say to him "I'm sorry", but in my heart
I never meant it
and my brother knew it. I remember saying in my heart "I'm sorry I didn't
hurt
you more." But after saying "I'm sorry" more than a few times to my
brother and
others, I began to understand what it actually meant. I really started
to feel
sorry in my heart for what I had done.
It is true. We begin to
believe in our heart
what we say to ourselves and others when we say it often enough. That's
the
power of the Love of God. It's how we detox our Spirit, our Mind and
our Body.
Years
later when I felt regret for
the way I had treated
him I said to him "I'm sorry for the way I had treated you." And he
knew in his
heart that this was true, and I felt a bond between us I never felt
before.
This is what Love is.
There
are a lot of people that
have been hurt or disillusioned
by the Church. When a person says that he doesn't know God, it doesn't
mean
that God doesn't know that person.
We
all have different needs. Some
issues that people may
have are, 1) been abused by someone in the church, 2) a lack of
understanding
in the role of the church, 3) that the church is perceived as a threat
to their
way of life. Some people want to learn what it means to be a Christian.
Some
people are looking for fellowship with others and want to serve. Others
look
for Prayer, Healing or a Prophetic word.
Please
don't misunderstand what I
am saying. Prayer and
meditation are important. We need to leave this world and get into that
Special
place with our Father. We need to feel that Peace and Love that can
only come
from our Father. Only then can we Love others without judgment, as we
are
Loved. When we feel distressed or overwhelmed about life it can be
difficult to
get into a quiet place. For new Christians who have had a challenging
life this
can be difficult.
When
we are not Loved we compare
ourselves to others and
try to be someone we are not in the hope of being Loved. We try to
conform to
the culture of the church, or a clique within the church, to gain
respect in
the hope of being Loved. Instead, we get caught up in the hysteria.
Peer
pressure makes us conform to
unrealistic
expectations of how we should act and treat others that are not on our
side or
may have a different opinion to ours. We become sheep in a paddock
being led
around by someone else and lose our identity in Christ.
Some
Christians may take Bible verses out of the context that
they were written in, to justify or support a particular way of
thinking (and
I'm probably just as guilty in this as anybody else). Sometimes
a person is taught something that feels right
from a wordly point of view and seems to make sense, but is not correct
when
applied in the setting that was originally intended.
Some
Christians may tell us that
we need to please God by
Speaking in Tongues, Healing or Prophesying to each other, or that we
need to
go to Bible study, or go to this seminar or that conference, or any
number of
other things to be happy. Why is this? Some new Christians just get a
headache
from all the information out there. Can we ever please God on our own
doing?
Sometimes, the more we try in our own understanding, the less likely it
will
happen. We end up just running around in circles going nowhere "8 For it is by grace you
have been saved, through
faith and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God"
(Ephesians 2:8 NIV).
We may think that God will give us whatever we
want. We may
say to ourselves "I prey and read the bible and give money to the
church. Why
aren't I getting what I deserve?" So we pray more, read more, study
more and
give more money to the church to be blessed. Nothing could be further
from the
truth. God wants us to give from a cheerful and thankful heart for the
blessings we have already received. We give so that we can bless
others, not
that we deserve to be blessed (2 Corinthians 9 NIV).
We may see the success of others, but have no idea
of the
amount of work and heartache that it required to achieve that success.
It's a
bit like the saying "The grass is always greener on the other side of
the
fence". Don't we envy others in what they have. Be carefully in what you
desire,
for your treasure will also be where your heart desires (Luke 12:
32-34 NIV).
What
I do know is that there are
some people out there
that say they Love God but don't know how to Love themselves, or
others. They
religiously follow scripture, speak in tongues, chase prophetic words,
and
other gifts of the Spirit in the pursuit of Love. They just end up
crucifying
themselves and others around them. They see our life and troubles and
walk on
by or talk amongst themselves. They think we don't know God and prey
for our
salvation instead of helping us through our time of need, just as Job
was
condemned by his friends.
When
we know of, or meet, a person
that is not a follower
of Jesus we may unconsciously treat the person differently. The same
may happen
if the person is a Muslim, a Roman Catholic, or even a person of a
different
ethnic background or color. Don't we judge that person? Our words and
actions
towards others can be a curse or a blessing.
We
were all created in the image
of God. When we reject the
Holy Spirit inside of us, we reject ourselves (who we are in Christ)
and let
Satan into our lives. When we have Faith in the righteousness of our
Father in
our heart, how can we judge others (Job
38 - 42 NIV)?
Doesn't
our own pride get in the
way and we try to do it
in our own understanding. There is a battle in our own Spirit (Romans 7 NIV). We
need to
focus on the nature of
God, which is Love. All we need to do is stop, look, listen. Let the
Holy Spirit
lead us. Focus on what is right and good, the beautiful and unsoiled,
with a
forgiving and thankful heart and our Father will wash you clean.
We
may think we have all the
answers, but we really
don't, and neither do I. We should follow Jesus and not each other.
And
remember, We have the
authority to speak Life (blessings)
or Death (curses) over ourselves
and
others through what we say and our actions. We need to ask ourselves
what is
the intent behind what we say and how we act toward each other. God
knows where
our heart is and we will be judged accordingly.
"I
the LORD
search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according
to their
conduct, according to what their deeds deserve."
(Jeremiah 17:10 NIV).
We
may think to ourselves, or say
to others,
something
like "My life is such a mess", or, "I'm sick of you always doing that.",
or, "You are not behaving your self.", or, "Don't climb that tree. You
will hurt
yourself.", or, "That person is an #*****.", or, "Stop pestering me".
Have you
ever said to someone "Don't look down.", or "Don't drop that tray of
drinks."? Even
refusing to acknowledge a person can send a message of rejection. What
are we
saying over ourselves and others? Are we a blessing or a curse to
ourselves and
each other?
Who
gave us the authority to be
impatient or unkind, to
be jealous or boastful or proud or rude, to demand our own way, to be
irritable, or keep records of being wronged, or to rejoice about
injustice, to
give up or lose Faith, or give up hope, or surrender in every
circumstance? Certainly
not God.
Some
Christians just never get it
right. They blame
everybody else but themselves. They do the same things over and over
without
learning that our Farther is in control. They don't take responsibility
for
their own actions.
Jesus
said that he had come for
the broken, the unwanted
and the unloved...
"...
be subject
one to another, and be clothed with humility for God resisteth the
proud and
gives grace to the humble." (1
Peter 5:5 NLT).
"Bear
ye one
another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ."
(Galatians 6:2 KJV)
We
should bear each others burdens
in Love and prayer,
and, support each other in their time of need. It is only when we can
sit down
and share their pain that we can learn to Love them.
Everything
happens for a reason.
Our Father is in control
regardless of how or what we think (Ecclesiastes
3 NLT).
"5 I am the Lord, and there is none else, there is no God beside me: I girded thee, though thou hast not known me:
6
That they may know from the rising of the sun, and from the west, that
there is none beside me. I am the Lord, and there is none else.
7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things.
8
Drop down, ye heavens, from above, and let the skies pour down
righteousness: let the earth open, and let them bring forth salvation,
and let righteousness spring up together; I the Lord have created it.
9
Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker! Let the potsherd strive with
the potsherds of the earth. Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth
it, What makest thou? or thy work, He hath no hands?" ( Isaiah 45:5-9 KJV)
The
above shows that the Our Lord has complete authority over everything.
He did not create robots. He wanted us to trust in him and do his will
not because we have to, but because we want to. He gives us hope and
comfort in our day to day lives. It
doesn't matter who we are, we
all go through trials.
Christianity is not about avoiding conflict, but acknowledging and
dealing with
conflict in a Christian way. Our
Father knows us more than we do.
"You
have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I
rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and
my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on
my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. Psalm 139:1-4 (NIV)"
"The
Bible reminds us over and over again of the comfort and peace that
comes from being known and loved by God. We are truly known and
perfectly loved, even more clearly and truly than we know and love
ourselves! In fact, it is often quite difficult for us to know
ourselves well, to discern clearly our longings, needs, and deepest
desires." (
https://www.wisdomhunters.com/god-knows-you-better-than-you-know-yourself/)
There
are a number of reasons why conflict happens in our
lives...
I’m sure you it has happened more than once where someone has said something or done something that has really upset you.
We are not perfect. We are only human.
Mostly it is us and not
Satan that creates problems.
We are often our own worst enemy.
Most times people do not say or do things to each other out of
malice or hatred.
Most times we act out of ignorance or
misunderstanding.
4
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of
shedding your blood. 5 And have you completely forgotten this word of
encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,
“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6
because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”[a]
"7Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children.
For what children are not disciplined by their father? 8If you are not
disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not
legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. 9Moreover, we have all
had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How
much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! 10They
disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God
disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his
holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.
Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for
those who have been trained by it.
12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level
paths for your feet" so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather
healed."
To
test us in our faithfulness.
Just as Noah, Job, Jesus, Paul and others were (1
Peter 1:7, James 1:12-22 NIV).
Our father is with us and
carries us through unavoidable
stuff that is done to us by others. Satan will come and deceive and rob
us of
our relationship with our Father as in the garden of Eden and Jesus in
the
desert. Our own desires give way to Sin. Our selfish pride and ego will
consume
us.
To
strengthen us and allow
us to learn from our experiences. The Mind, Body and Soul
needs stress
to
function properly. Our bodies change as we get older, we explore the
world
around us, we make mistakes and learn that we are not the centre of the
universe. It's how we adapt to life that makes the difference.
To
have compassion for others
and be able to support them in their time of need. We
don't care until
we have
been there. It is only when we have been through the same experiences
as others
we then have a greater understanding of their needs and are less likely
to
judge them.
Our Father gives us what we need, and not what we want...
Aren't we sometimes like a child in a candy shop. We want that, and that, and that, and that, and that... and our Father says "NO"
because he knows it is not good for us. We pester him until we get what
we want and our Farther gives in, but he knows we will suffer and
hopefully learn through the experience.
Our
humanity takes over and we
try to do things in our own strength. We may think we are
doing our
Fathers
will, but are we?
Our
Father knows what is best
for us and gives us what we need and not what we want. We
may want a
new BMW or
Porsche, but do we need it? We may take his Love for granted and expect
everything as a privilege or right.
"9
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary,
repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you
may inherit a blessing." (1 Peter 3:9)
There
is unhealthy stuff
happening in our lives that cause conflict that need to be removed.
Conflict is mostly about a person refusing to see or understand another persons situation or point of view.
Where we
work, our relationships with others, what we eat or drink all have an
impact on
our lives.
Any interaction with others will result in some form of misunderstanding or difference of opinion.
We
may have...
Unforgiveness
A
Religious Spirit
An
Unhealthy Soul Tie
A
Generational Curse
A
False Teaching
A
False God
Or
any number of other things
happening in our lives that we are not aware of.
We
may think the whole world
is against us and use religion as an escape from our troubles.
Learn to recognise the trouble or unhealthy spirit in your heart and let it flow through you.
Renounce it and focus on the good things in the situation.
When someone says or does something to us we have the choice to …
React with our EMOTIONS (ego, pride, arrogance etc.)
Respond in LOVE (respect, kindness, humility etc.)
When we or the other person is
stressed we/they are more likely to react rather than respond. Our
brain processes information differently under stress.
We all pick up feelings from the
person/people we are talking to.
Often it is not what the other person says, but how it is said both verbally and non-verbally.
What are our buttons that others push that make us react and not respond? (See
Our Buttons)
- Pride
- Ego
- Impatience
- Unforgiveness
- Someone says something that you are already know/am aware of ... "You need to …"
- Loss of a loved one
- Others putting down someone/something we love
- Something that has happened that has really upset us.
- Being verbally attacked
- Not listening to what the other person is saying
- Not being listened to. You know you are right.
- Other person is not listening
- Being controlled by the other person/people
- Illness/Disability
- Diet
- Loneliness
- Add your own …
We
are all a work in progress,
there is nobody who is
perfect. Anybody that tells us differently is a liar. Jesus shows us
how we
should live our lives. The more we try to be perfect in our own
strength the
less likely it will happen. All that happens is that we judge ourselves
and
others by our own standards. We become proud, demanding, self righteous
and
self seeking, as Satan wants us to do. So just relax and let God's will
be done
in your own life and others. Don't aspire to be something you are not.
Accept
and Love your self for who you are and others as they are.
We
all struggle with our
relationship with our Father at
one time or another. This is normal. Our day to day living can be very
stressful and takes a heavy toll on us. We live in this world and the
worldly
things can take us away from our Fathers Love. We lose our Peace and
Love for
others. We need to let go of those unhealthy emotions in a positive way
or they
will destroy us.
Jesus
was no different. He had human emotions
and weaknesses. His ministry was
very
demanding. Jesus needed to spend a lot of time at the Mount of Olives
and other
places in Prayer with our Father. Jesus' solitude and silence allowed
him to
recharge his batteries, deal with troubling emotions like grief, anger
and
frustration and to make important decisions. It's how he taught his
disciples,
even they had their own struggles. They were not perfect,
and they did
not pretend to be.
Are
we any different? There is a
lot of negative energy
in the world. The only way to get into that special place is to be away
from
the world with all of its demands. If you can't find that special
place, don't
stress. Just relax and think about all the things that you have been
blessed
with, with a thankful heart.
We
all go through times when we
feel unloved or rejected.
We all have our own hopes and desires, our own misfortunes, our own
ways of
coping with our day to day lives, and to some extent our own beliefs
about God change
according to our needs at a particular time.
Unhealthy
stress can sneak up on
us without us realising
it. Like the straw that broke the camels back stress can slowly build
up until
something happens and totally breaks our Spirit.
Some
emotions that we may
experience when we have been
hurt...
Offense/Anger/Resentment. We may think
that it's their fault.
Remember, if we can't Love others for who they are, it's our problem
not
theirs. We need to forgive them and ourselves.
Sadness/Guilt/Depression. We may think
that it's our own fault. Remember,
if others can't Love us for who you are, it's their problem not ours.
We need
to forgive them and ourselves.
Overwhelmed. Feelings of being consumed,
burdened, unable to find
peace.
Denial. We may avoid the issue or problem
and hope it just goes
away. We may develop a strategy that allows you to live with the issue.
Rebuilding & Renewal. We may find
that accepting the situation
is spiritually and physically unhealthy and reach out to others we
trust and to
God in Prayer because we have nowhere else to go.
Acknowledgment, Forgiveness
& Confidence. We acknowledge our sin.
Father, please forgive me for I have sinned. We begin to have
confidence
to forgive ourself of our sin, and the sin of others against us, and
reach out
in Love. We pray for them and look for the good in others that have
hurt us.
Sometimes this may take months or even years to forgive them."14 For if you forgive other
people when
they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15
But if you
do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your
sins."
(Matthew 6:14-15 NIV).
Restoration. We may feel that the burden
has been removed.
When
we are feeling unloved we can talk to our
Father...
Above
all else, Don't persecute
yourself or others, Jesus has already done that for you and them.
And
feel relaxed. We all have
stress in our lives without noticing it, we can't function properly
without stress.
It's only when something comes along that is greater than we can bear
that
trouble happens. We have all been there. Take some deep breaths. Try to
focus
on something positive.
It's
ok. Give yourself
permission to be angry and upset just as Jesus did. Jesus felt all the
human
emotions that we do. Be open and honest and learn to recognise them.
Learn to
accept them. Learn to understand them. It's only then that God can do
anything
about them.
God
has already given us the
tools to endure emotional pain. God gave us a way to let go of our
unhealthy
feelings, anger, deep sadness etc.. We cry out in tears which releases
oxytocin
and other hormones. Tears are God's way to detox our Spirit, Mind and
Body of
stress, sadness, grief, anxiety, and frustration. We also need to be in
the
company of people we trust. We need to be able to share with others
without
judgment. We need to be able laugh and smile. We need fellowship with
others.
Prayer
and Fasting is also an
important way to remove the rubbish from our Spirit, Mind and Body. It
allows
the Spirit to heal and teaches us self control. This allows us to
properly
focus on God's word.
We
need to be in a quiet place
away from the world. We need to be able to reflect on what we have and
not what
we don't have in prayer and meditation. We need to be able to focus on
the good
things with a thankful heart.
I personally feel that Jesus warns us
of being to Religious in our spirit as Jesus told the Jews in the
parable of the "Good Samaritan".
I feel that here is no formula or prescription. We all have our own
journey in life and I don't think there is any right or wrong way. Let
us be led by the Spirit.
"In
the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what
we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through
wordless groans." (Romans 8:26 NIV)
It is only through a genuine unconditional Love for others that comes from our father that leads us...
"If
I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am
only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of
prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have
a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3
If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship
that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." (1 Corinthians 13).
I think Creflo Dollar makes some good points...
"3. But you,
beloved, build yourselves up [founded] on your most holy faith [make
progress, rise like an edifice higher and higher], praying in the Holy
Spirit (Jude 1:20, AMPC)."
"We make progress when we pray in the spirit.
When we pray, we must not make our prayers legalistic by thinking we
must pray at a certain time and a specific amount of time each day.
We
can instead pray whenever we are led to pray."
Deeper Dimensions to Praying in the Spirit By Creflo Dollar
"21Keep
yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus
Christ unto eternal life.
22And of some have compassion, making a
difference:
23And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire;
hating even the garment spotted by the flesh." (Jude 1:21-23, KJB)
Below is an extract from
"4 Different Types Of Tongues" (http://revelationriver.com/4-different-types-of-tongues/)
Private Tongues type 1
1st Corinthians 14:2
Now this is where it begins to get Powerful. The Apostle Paul is
telling us that when someone speaks in an unknown Tongue, he is
speaking mysteries in the spirit. Now, if someone understood the
language that the speaker was speaking in, then it would not be a
mystery because somebody would understand it.
Speaking in unknown Tongues is the only way that you can edify yourself
or build yourself up in the spirit (1 Corinthians 14:4). Jude says in
his epistle that we must build ourselves up on our most holy faith,
praying in the Holy Ghost.
My question has always been, how do you do that? Praying in unknown Tongues is how you build up your most holy faith.
You’ll always find that Saints who pray in unknown Tongues for extended
periods of time, are always on a high level when it comes to their walk
with God and revelation of the things of God.
Another observation of mine over the years is that those who do not
speak in unknown Tongues also do not move in the nine gifts of the
spirit, and if they do, it’s on a very very limited basis.
I could speak more on the subject of unknown Tongues but I have created
a few videos on the subject so I will put the link at the end of the
article.
Private Tongues type 2
Romans 8:26
Now, this is when the Apostle Paul is speaking about how the Spirit
makes intercession for us with groanings that cannot be uttered. This
type of Tongue, also personal, is what is done in private.
When you are praying in unknown Tongues, sometimes the Spirit leads you
into deep intercession and the Unknown Tongue turns into a grown. This
is when you know that the Spirit is interceding for you or for someone
else.
Our
Father will communicate
his Love for you in any number of ways. It takes time to learn and
understand
his ways. We need to be in a quiet place and remove our spiritual
static to
tune into him.
- Through
Scripture. Read the
Bible.
-
You
may feel in your heart his
Love for you and what he wants you to do.
-
You
may hear his voice that no
one else can hear in your mind.
-
You
may have a feeling or a premonition,
good or bad, about something that is going to happen. Take notice of
it. Think
on it. Where is it coming from?
- God
will talk to you and
encourage you through the world around you. He will talk to you through
others,
a dream, a Word of Knowledge or a Prophecy, a song on the radio, a book
or
anything else. If we stop and look around us and think of the good things that we have been given.
- To Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy
soul, and with all thy mind is to Love life itself, because we are of
God. To Love God is to Love what he has given us with a thankful heart.
To have a joy in life is to appreciate what we have been given. God
gave us the heavens and the stars to be amazed by his glory. His signs
and wonders are everywhere to be seen, if we stop to have a look. Have
you never looked up into the sky on a clear night? Do you see the
darkness? Of course you don't, you see his magnificence.
There is a beauty and majesty about his creation that we could never
hope to come close to. How often do we take for granted what God has
already given us? How often do things for our own glory instead of
God's glory?
I
have also experienced times
when God is not happy about what I am doing in my own self-
righteousness. He
will set up a road block or put obstacles in my way to slow me down and
make me
think about what I'm doing. Has this ever happened to you?
Laugh
and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry
alone, but our Father is there with you and shares your grief. Know one
else
knows your pain as you do. God is your Father and Protector. You have a
personal relationship with our Father through Jesus Christ. You are
nothing
without him. He already knows your burdens and wants you to share them
with
him. He loves you unconditionally and he desires to be a part of your
life.
When
you are troubled and feel unloved you can tell him
your troubles. You can write him a letter releasing your pain. Tell him
everything. You can tell him what happened and how you felt, the anger
pain and
bitterness (Book of Job NIV).
You can let it
all out because he wants you to give him your burdens, and you can
trust him. When
you come into that special place you can ask him to forgive you for
your sin
AND most importantly ask forgiveness for those that have hurt you, "Father, forgive them; for
they know not what they do."
(Luke 23:34 NLT).
This
opens the door for forgiveness, healing and
restoration in your own life and the lives of others. Once you are in
that
special place and have forgiveness in your heart you can then ask our
Father to
show you how you can Love others as you are Loved. He will tell you.
Just
remember that God is always with you, even when you
are not with him. He is always with you. And be carefully in
what you feel, hear or do. If it is
full of self-righteousness, negativity, criticism, judgment,
complaint, pride
or ego etc. it is NOT of God. Throw
it away and don't listen to the feelings or person. You can rebuke that
feeling
or person in Love as Jesus rebuked Peter (Mark
8:33 NIV).
"8 Finally, brethren,
whatsoever things are true, whatsoever
things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are
pure,
whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if
there be
any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things,
which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me,
do: and
the God of peace shall be with you." (Philippians 4:8-9 KJV).
"You can please some of
the people all of
the time, you can please all of the people some of the time, but you
can't
please all of the people all of the time" (Poet
John Lydgate as made famous by Abraham Lincoln).
It
doesn't matter what we do in
life there is always
going to be The
Good, The Bad and The Ugly. There will always be
others
around that are intent on destroying our lives. There are the vain, the
bitter,
the downright obnoxious and others that just don't Love themselves or
others.
Jesus never said that he will remove these people from us. But he did
say he
would protect us from them.
"44
But I tell
you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that
you may be
children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the
evil and
the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If
you love
those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax
collectors
doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you
doing more
than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as
your
heavenly Father is perfect." (Matthew
5:44-48 NIV).
I
remember I had a bumper sticker
on my car, "Love
your Enemies. It will scare the Hell out of them".
I wish I still had
it, it got lots of reactions.
To
Love your enemy is show them
grace and forgiveness. To
pray for our enemy is to let go of the pain and suffering they have
caused us.
It gets us into the right state of heart and mind so we don't retaliate
and act
out of self-righteousness, revenge or retribution (Matthew
5:38-42 NIV). How can we curse someone when we
pray for them. "36 Be merciful, just as your
Father is merciful."
(Luke 6: 36 NIV).
It's
easier to pray for people
that we don't meet all the
time. Its really hard to pray for people that we have to be with on a
daily
basis. At school, at work, the gym or any social gathering there will
be
someone you wish would just go away and leave you in peace. It can be
difficult
to Love them.
"9
Let us not
become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a
harvest if we
do not give up." (Galatians 6:9
NIV).
How
do we know if God is not
testing our faith just as he
did with Job (Job 1:6-12 NIV).
God will give
us only what we can bear (1
Corinthians 10:13 NIV).
Let us be a witness of God's Love to them (Matthew
5:16 NIV).
"Keep Your Friends Close
and Your Enemies
Closer" (Machiavelli
in 'The Prince').
It's
only when we get close to our
enemies that we have a
chance to get to know them. We can find out what makes them tick. It's
only
then we have an opportunity to learn how to Love them for who they are.
They
may have stuff in the closet that they can't let go of, maybe we can
help them
let go.
When
you are working with a
difficult person...
Ask
God how to Love that person.
Be
positive and don't grumble or complain.
Be
Patient, Kind, Forgiving and and don't Judge.
Find
something good about the person and praise
him/her about it.
Do
something for that person that they don't
expect.
You
may be surprised about what
happens.
Try
to be their friend without judgment
.Listen
to what they are saying.
Let
them finish and ask questions about what you
don't understand.
Ask
them how they are feeling about something
they said.
Show
some compassion. You can share some of your
own experiences with them.
Sometimes
we can't do anything for
them.
Sometimes
we are our own worst
enemy.
Shouldn't
we Love ourselves as we are Loved?
Is
that person there for a reason? Why did God
put that person into my life?
Is
there something in myself I need to change so
I can Love others?
Was
I offended by what they said or did to me?
Was
I physically abused?
Does
the person know that they have
offended/abused me?
"Submit Yourselves to God
4
What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your
desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you
kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and
fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you
do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend
what you get on your pleasures. 4 You adulterous people, don’t you
know that friendship with the world means enmity against God?
Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an
enemy of God. 5 Or do you think Scripture says without reason that he
jealously longs for the spirit he has caused to dwell in us? 6 But
he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”
7
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee
from you. 8 Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your
hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9
Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy
to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you
up." (James 4:1-10 NIV)
"I am of God and the Holy
Spirit
lives within me."
"I am patient and kind. I
am not
jealous or boastful or proud or rude. I do not demand my own way. I am
not
irritable, and I keep no record of being wronged. I do not rejoice
about
injustice but rejoice whenever the truth wins out. I never give up,
never lose
faith, am always hopeful, and endure through every circumstance."
(Adapted from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT)
Yes
life can be a challenge. We
are constantly being
stressed by events and things around us. Stress is an important part of
our
life. Without stress we do not grow or learn to cope with new
situations. The
body needs stress to work properly and efficiently. However, excessive
stress
can have disastrous effects on the Spirit, Mind and Body. Greed, envy,
bitterness, pride and unforgiveness can sneak up upon us like a thief
in the
night. It will rob us of our joy, happiness and Love for life.
"10
The thief
comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may
have life,
and have it to the full." (John 10:10 NIV).
I
see life as a journey. We are
born into this world
through the miracle of conception when God breathed his life into us
and then
after some years we leave our physical bodies behind. We all have our
own
journey. What happens after is determined by our beliefs and Spirit
(Faith)
here on earth, and how we treat each other along the way.
For
example, this guy (Jesus) says
to me...
"My Father has a great
place in Heaven where
all your desires are fulfilled and you will experience true happiness.
But
whichever way you go, on your own journey in life, you will not be able
to take
anything with you where you are going.
All your needs will be
provided for along
your way. You will see such beautiful things that you never saw before
that my
Father had already given you.
You will share your
experiences with them. My
Father has given you a special gift to minister to yourself and others
you
meet. My Father has also given them their own special gifts to support
and
minister to you in your own need and to others in their own needs on
their
journey.
You will also encounter
obstacles. There
will be detours, disappointments, and tragedies. Others will cut you
off,
discourage you and try to redirect you from your own journey in life.
You must Endure
the journey because it will not be easy.
But take heart, if you
abide in me my Spirit
will be with you to keep you safe. You must Love each other as you are
Loved.
Be Patient,
Kind,
Humble, Accepting,
Forgiving
and Honest
to yourself and others or you will not make it. There are the laws that
must be
observed, but if you keep my commandments you will fulfil those laws."
"Be at peace with yourself
and do not demand
your own way with others, for they have their own journey in Life."
"Above all else have Faith. At the
end of your journey my Father has a place already
prepared for you to rest. Where you are going you will not want for
anything."
"Oh, and along your way,
tell as many others
as you can about this place and the means to get there. There will be
people
that know God, but not my father or me. They have their own journey and
will be
judged accordingly by their actions. There will be others that
will not listen to
my message. It will fall on barren ground and not bear fruit. To those
others,
they will have their own reward. Shake their dust of your feet and move
on to
another person."
Of
course I'm going.
I
would like to share a story of a
fisherman, Bob, who
lived close to a river. Bob was a good Christian man who had a family
to
support. He made a meager living in the town near by and supplemented
his
provisions with fish he caught in the river. He was a quiet man who
lived in
peace with himself and others and was respected for his kindness and
generosity.
Every
now and then a hobo, Jack,
would pass by when he
was fishing. "Dear Sir, would spare a fish for a lonely man who has no
food?"
asked Jack each time he passed by. Bob was slightly repelled by the
odour and
dress of the hobo, but was filled with compassion for Jack and gave him
a few
fish that he could not really do without, and God knew this.
One
day when Jack came by and
asked for some fish, Bob gave
him some fish and wished him well on his journey. After Jack left Bob
herd a
voice asking him "Why do you give Jack fish?". Bob was astonished by
the
question and looked around for the owner of the question.
When
he did not see anyone he knew
who it was. His reply
was "But Father, I have compassion for Jack, what more can I do?".
There was no
reply, which mystified him. That night during his prayer time Bob asked
our
Father what he needed to do. Once again he got no answer.
A
few weeks later when Jack came
by again Bob had
forgotten about the question. After Bob gave Jack some fish Bob heard
the
question again. Once again Bob was puzzled. He had a restless night
that night
and didn't know what else he could do.
The
third time Jack came by Bob
remembered the question
our Father had asked him. When Jack asked him for some fish Bob was
about to
give him some and then 'the penny dropped' and he understood the
question.
Bob's reply was "No, I'm not giving you any fish. But come and sit
beside me
and I will teach you how to catch fish". Mildly surprised by the
request Jack
sat down.
Bob
got a long branch and line and
a hook with some food
scrap attached, and gave it to Jack, and showed him what to do.
While
they were fishing Bob was
able to share his story
about his own life and share his experiences with Jack. Jack was a
lonely person
and related his own story with tears in his eyes. No one had ever
stopped to
listen to his story. Jack's story touched Bob in a way that he had
never
experienced before. Bob felt a bond of Love between Jack and himself
that came
from the Holy Spirit, and from out of nowhere he started talking about
Jesus.
As
the time passed by Bob felt a
change in Jack. Jack
felt different. Jack felt his burden being lifted of him. For the first
time in
his life Jack felt Loved.
A
few hours later after they both
caught some fish Bob
invited Jack to his humble home to share a meal and prayer time with
his
family. Jack was welcome into Bob's home anytime he passed
by. And God was pleased, both Bob and Jack were blessed, and
richer for the experience. Bob did not need to give Jack any fish
anymore. Jack
was empowered in being able to provide for himself and others, and
shared the
message of Jesus whenever he was led by the Spirit.
How
will you respond when our
Father calls?
Am I Available...
- to Surrender to Others?
- to Forgive Others?
- to Listen to Others?
- to Receive from Others?
- to Learn from Others?
- to Grow with Others?
- to Care for Others?
- to Love Others?
Love
is a seed that God plants in us. The fruit of that seed is Love, Joy,
Peace, Forbearance, Kindness, Goodness and Faithfulness.
"3Listen! A farmer went out
to sow his seed. 4As he was
scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and
ate it
up. 5Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It
sprang up
quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6But when the sun came up, the
plants
were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7Other seed
fell
among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not
bear
grain. 8Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and
produced a
crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times." (Mark 4:3-8 NIV)
Love
has been planted in ourselves through the Holy Spirit. It must be
attended to
properly or it will not survive. God is the Father that we can ask for
support
and guidance when we fail. We are nothing without him. God is pleased
when he
sees his work yield worthy fruit.
Love
is a sacrifice. Just as the farmer, we need to prepare the ground in
ourselves
and others. We need to turn the ground over and remove the rocks and
other
impurities from the soil. We need to be able to provide water and
nourishment,
protect it from the pests and storms as it grows to maturity. We need
to
nurture the seed so it can grow strong and healthy so it will bare such
mighty
fruit that all will be astounded.
Sometimes
this is easy. For some God has been preparing their ground since their
birth
through their life experiences. Mostly it requires hard work and
frustration.
Birds and insects pick the young buds and disease will strike at the
roots and
branches and yield sour fruit. We need to be vigilant and be able to
decrease
or eradicate any threat to the young plant until its roots deepen and
its
branches strengthen. If a plant or a crop fails, we need to learn from
our
experiences and start again.
For others, it's
rocky and barren. Nothing will ever grow there, no matter how hard we
try.
Love
is something that takes us our whole life to learn and put in practice.
Just
when we think we have it right we become complacent and self-righteous.
Satan
then comes along and moves the goal posts. This is true, I have found
this out
from my personal experiences the hard way. We may think we have the
answer, but
we don't. We can only do our best and leave the rest to God.
Love
is not a formula that we can unpack and apply to any situation. It is
something
learned from experience. Of course we are going to make mistakes. We
need to
adapt to different situations. We are not perfect and God knows this.
It
is only through Jesus, through prayer and meditation, that we can have
a
relationship with our Father. When we ask him how we can Love others,
he will
show us.
- Not
jumping to conclusions or making rash decisions.
- If we
cannot be Patient with ourselves
how
can we be Patient with others?
Patience is self-control
in every
circumstance.
Patience
is giving others the benefit of doubt,
even when we feel uncomfortable.
Patience
is trying to understand others point of
view.
Patience is waiting for
something
to happen with eager anticipation.
Patience allows us to
realise our
goal.
It can be very hard to be patient in the world.
Things happen that are out of our control that have an impact on our
expectations, plans and goals in life. We have our own ideas about how
we
should be treated by others and if someone does not behave according to
those
expectations, or something happens that we don't like, we can lose the
plot and
become frustrated and angry with others or at a situation that we can't
control.
When
impatience gets the better of
us we focus of our own
feelings and desires, we don't want to see others point of view, it's
all about
me. Impatience can lead to
frustration, which can lead to self-centeredness, which can lead to
increased
stress and ill health, which can lead to anger and resentment, which
can lead
to a loss of reasoning and self-control, which can lead to extreme
violence.
I remember when I really needed something that was
really important to me. The more I didn't have it, the more I wanted
it. It was
destroying me. I used to Prey... "Farther, please give me patience NOW.
I need
it NOW." This is true, I have prayed this many times, and I suspect
there are a
lot of others that have done the same. Now that I'm older I can see
Father smiling
at me and saying to me "My son, you already have it. You are welcome to
use it
whenever you want to."
It's
like a car in our garage that
we know it's there. We
look at it and think it's a beautiful thing we have got. One day
someone comes
along and says "Wow what a great car. What's it like to drive?". "What
do you
mean?" you reply, "How do you drive it?". Isn't Patience a bit like the
car in
the garage? It's always been there but we never use it, or, don't we
know how
to use it. I'm still learning how to use it properly.
I
remember when I was a child my
mother dropped me off at
school. She said she would pick me when school was out at the end of
the day. I
remember going to the place where I was dropped off and waiting for her
return.
I waited and waited and waited, and waited (even a short time is a long
time
for a child), and finally she came. While I was waiting, all sorts of
things
came to mind. She forgot, she was sick, she had an accident, and worst
of all,
she had abandoned me. But I had no choice, I could not do anything but
to have
Faith that she would arrive. And finally she did. She apologised and
explained
why she was late. My Faith in her was restored.
Sometimes impatience can still get the better of
me. I still struggle when I am driving. There are so many people that
are
inattentive and have little regard for others on the road. I get
frustrated
with slow drivers that think everyone else should behave the same as
they do. I
really don't understand why some people drive at 75ks on the freeway on
a
Saturday afternoon.
When
I get a speeding ticket, or
are cut off by someone
else or stuck in traffic I may try to justify my actions by saying that
I am
late or some other lame excuse, and swear and curse at the officer, the
other
driver or the traffic. Don't we ever think that it's God's way of
slowing us
down.
Do
we ever think about the
consequences of our actions
and what could have happened? Doesn't God do this to us all the time.
His ways
are perfect. He knows us better than we know ourselves.
I
prefer to arrive early to an
appointment or function to
allow for unseen events that may happen. I can't see the point of
leaving late.
If I am traveling with another person and they are late, or like to
take their
time and not feel rushed, I feel uncomfortable and want to hurry them
up. The
other person may feel that I am pushing him and them becomes impatient
with me.
How
often do we try to explain
something to someone over
and over again and they still don't get it. They may ask the same
question a
number of times. Is this because the person just doesn't understand
what we are
saying because they are not listening? This happens a lot of times. Or,
is it because
we have not thought it through ourselves and assume the person knows
what we
are talking about and become impatient with the person because they
can't read
our thoughts. I am guilty of this. I do it all the time.
When
we take on a project we look
for the right advice
and then become impatient with ourself and angry with the next person
that
comes along when things go wrong. We may find other issues and problems
we did
not know or expect. We expect everything to go as we anticipate. We get
frustrated with ourselves and others. The more we try to fix things
when we are
impatient, the worse things get.
When
we fail in our project, how
often do we curse
ourselves and say "I'm a failure, Ill never make it.", or, "You're a
failure,
you will never make it.".
Shouldn't
we bless our selves and
others "Its OK, I have
Faith I'll get it the next time." We have Faith in our Father that he
will get
us through our impatience. We need to rest and take a deep breath, put
aside
the frustration and disappointment, and start again when we are the
right
Spirit. We need to be in a quiet peaceful place, in prayer, where our
Spirit is
with our Father. This gives us authority over impatience so that the
next time
it happens we have the experience, and tools, to manage it properly.
When
we are impatient with others
doesn't our Father slow
us down, or, wait until we ask him what to do. I have often asked
Father "Am I
really doing the right thing?" and he will speak to
me through others
to support me and help me in my time of need. My Faith in him is
restored.
Patience
comes from a Faith and
confidence that things
will work out the way they should, even if they are not what we may
have
expected, or even wanted. A spoiled child may be given whatever they
want,
whenever they want. Do they learn about Patience? Patience needs to be
experienced rather than learned. Today we live in an instant society.
We don't
need to put the time and effort into anything nowadays. Some Christians
may look
for instant gratification, they want it now, and become disappointed or
lose
Faith when it doesn't happen immediately.
Faith is like a bus timetable. We see on the
timetable that
the bus we want to catch will arrive at a certain time and dutifully
arrive at
the bus stop a few minutes before the arrival time of the bus. We wait
and
there is no bus. What has happened? Do we just leave the bus stop and
vow never
to return? Do we get angry with the others around us? Do we wait a bit
more for
the bus and then storm off? Or, do we have Faith that the bus will
arrive
eventually? Do we loose Faith completely if the bus never arrives?
Our Fathers timing is perfect. It is his in timing
and not
ours. "Now
faith is
confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not
see." (Hebrews 11:1 NIV)
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to be Patient with myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for
others be
in my heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be
done on
earth, as it is in heaven.
- Gentleness,
compassion, giving, not jealous or envious.
- Kindness
is something experienced and not
Learned.
- If we
cannot be Kind to ourselves how can
we be Kind to others?
"15
But you,
Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in
love
and faithfulness." (Psalm 86:15
NIV).
"34 Then the King will say to
those on his right, 'Come,
you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom
prepared
for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you
gave me
something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I
was a
stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me,
I was
sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit
me.'" (Matthew
25: 34-36 NIV).
Kindness
comes from understanding
the needs of others.
Kindness is a deep compassion for others. Did Jesus heal the sick
because he
was told to do it? Unfortunately we need to be told, it is not in our
nature.
We need to do it intentionally again and again until it becomes a part
of who
we are.
Anything
we do to ourselves or
others come from the mind.
The seeds of our thoughts come from our own expectations and
experiences in
life and how we have previously learned to cope with similar
situations in the
past. We generally treat ourselves and others the way we have treated
ourselves
and others before. It is an accustomed response because that's all we
know. We
need to learn a different behaviour.
We
need to understand that seeking
vengeance or hurting
others does not achieve anything. It may be a temporary solution. When
we have
gentleness and compassion for others we can help carry their burden. We
begin
to see their pain and bitterness. They feel Loved. They feel that there
is
someone they can talk to without being judged. We can share our own
story and
build a bond in Love. When they have peace and Love in their heart they
can
begin to Love themselves. We can encourage them to think about all the
wonderful things that they have been blessed with.
It's
the greedy, the angry, the
hated, the despised and
unloved we need to reach out to in Love. We need to show them that
there is
another way to live. We can give them shelter or something to help them
through
their time of need. We show them God's mercy and Love. We can tell them
that
they are not alone. We can tell them that there is a God with a
confidence that
can only come from a relationship with Jesus.
"7
Dear friends,
let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves
has been born
of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God,
because God is
love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and
only Son
into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not
that we
loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning
sacrifice for
our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love
one
another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God
lives in
us and his love is made complete in us."
(1 John 4: 7-12 NIV)
When
we have a genuine
unconditional Love for another, we
lose our own sense of self. We die to self. There is no anger,
jealousy, envy
or greed. We may experience something we have never experienced before.
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to be Kind to myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for others
be in
my heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be
done on
earth, as it is in heaven.
- Humility,
modest, not proud or rude or arrogant.
- If we
cannot be Humble with ourselves how
can we be Humble with others?
When
we are attacked for doing
wrong, shouldn't we be
humble. When we are attacked for doing what is right, shouldn't we have
the Joy
of the Lord who already knows what we do (1 Peter
3:14-17 NIV).
"Do
nothing from
rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than
yourselves." (Philippians 2:3 ESV).
Humility
in action...
You can defuse arguments when you are humble.
You can handle unfair treatment peacefully when you are humble.
You do not have to put on a "false front" when you are humble.
You can eat "humble pie" without being crushed when you are humble.
You can ask for forgiveness when you are humble.
You can talk with the right attitude when you are humble.
"Oh
Lord, it's hard to be humble
when I'm perfect in
every way" Song.
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to be Humble with myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for
others be
in my heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be
done on
earth, as it is in heaven.
- None
judging, non demanding, accepting ourselves and others for who we/they
are.
- If we
cannot be Accepting with ourselves
how can we be Accepting with others?
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to be Accepting to myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for
others be
in my heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be
done on
earth, as it is in heaven.
- Forgiving,
Not holding past transgressions against
ourselves and others.
- If we
cannot be Forgiving with ourselves
how can we Forgive others?
Forgiveness starts with
recognising
our own sin of unforgiveness of their sin against us.
Forgiveness is compassion
for ourselves
and others.
Forgiveness is
kind-heartedness to
ourselves and others.
Forgiveness is tolerating
the
behaviour of ourselves and the behaviour of others.
Shouldn't we bless the
ones that
curse us?
Shouldn't we bless the
ones that
hurt us?
Jesus
died on the cross for our sins. Shouldn't we
forgive them of their sins against us, as we were forgiven of our sins?
Shouldn't we just Love
them?
There
are 2 things that happen when we feel hurt by
events or actions against us.
1. Emotional
pain: We can become emotionally
attached to the event.
We
can let it conquer us, or
we can conquer it. We can let it pass through us and move on.
2. Physiological
Pain: The mind remembers the
event.
Our
whole life can revolve
around the event, or,
We
can learn from the
experience and help others in their time of need.
How
often do we condemn or crucify ourselves over what we
have done to ourselves? We may work out at a Gym to loose weight and
then walk
pass an ice cream shop and indulge in a few sweets. Later on we may say
to ourself "I
should never have had those treats.", "I'm a failure.",
"I
hate my self." There is judgment and
unforgiveness in our heart.
Shouldn't
we forgive ourselves and say "It's
ok I will try to go another way next time." After a
few unsuccessful attempts
at this, we finally get the message. For some this may take a long time
and they
may need lots of encouragement from others. To say to ourselves "I am
a failure." is like a death sentence.
How
often do we feel that we have nothing to forgive
ourself for? That person did wrong to us and we didn't do anything
wrong to
that person. Don't we feel hurt by that person and have unforgiveness
in our
heart against that person because they did to us. Our sin is taking
offense
when the person did nothing wrong in the first place and lash out
without
thinking. Most
of the time the other person is totally unaware that
they have hurt us through their words or actions. We need to let the
other
person know how they have hurt us, "I feel upset that you said that.",
or, "I
feel that I am being judged.", or, "I am not feeling respected",
or, "I am
unhappy that you feel that way."
Most importantly don't
accuse the other
person of anything. That's when we invite Satan to join us.
Sometimes
we are unaware that we have hurt another
person. When a person says something totally unexpected or lashes out
because
of something we have said or done to them, do we become offended and
tell them "You
have a rebellious Spirit", or, "Stop complaining and MAN up."?
Or
do we just brush it off with "Your
just being silly.", or, "Grow
up, and stop being a spoilt child.". Isn't it
better to say "I'm
sorry, please forgive me. How did I upset you?".
If
we can't recognise the unforgiveness in our own heart
how can our Father forgive us?
"30 And do not
grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of
redemption.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander,
along with
every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving
each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
(Ephesians 4: 30-32 NIV)
True
forgiveness cannot be forced. It can only come from
a compassionate heart. This comes from the Holy Spirit. We need to
change our
thinking. We need to speak life over ourselves and others. We need to
deliberately
change our thought pattens. It is the Spirit we battle with. Love can
be very
difficult when we hold on to past negative experiences and destructive
memories.
The
beginning of this process can be very challenging. We
need to be able to let go. We try to forgive them, but there is still
that
small seed of unforgiveness against them. We need recognise our own
sin, before
we can let go of any sin against others. It's only then that we can
forgive
them. We need to forgive our selves of our own anger and unforgiveness
before
we can forgive others.
God
is patiently waiting for us to acknowledge our sin of
unforgiveness. He can not do anything until we do. For some this is
really hard
to do. They have had a lifetime of abuse and don't know any other way.
They may
need to consciously ask God to show them how to Love that person or
people. They
may need to look for the good in others and not the evil. They may need
to do
this intentionally again and again and again until they feel
forgiveness in their
heart.
God
will deal with the emotional experience, but will
leave the physical memory as a warning to us, or to protect us from
further
damage. God can turn the experience into a blessing if we let him. We
can use
this blessing to support and encourage others in their needs. We can
help carry
their burden because we have come out the other side stronger and
better
equipped to deal with it.
Most
of the time, when we say something to another, we
don't understand the power of our words or actions. We may say or do
something
out of total innocence, but, the other person will take it as an
offense or
judgment against them or their belief. They may be in a dark place and
only
see and hear anything as another brick in their wall. It's not there
fault.
They
may lash out at us because of the pain and suffering
they are going through. Its not really their fault. Most of the time
it's
because they really don't know what they are doing, they are on
autopilot.
I
remember a saying "It
takes two to Tango", that, "Both
parties involved in a situation or argument are equally responsible for
it." Aren't
we responsible for our own actions in what we say and do to
others.
"... 25 so that
there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have
equal
concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with
it; if
one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."
(1 Corinthians 12:25-27 NIV)
Sometimes,
it doesn't matter what we say or do, things
just get worse. We can try prayer, healing, fasting, encouragement
etc., but
nothing happens. I'm not saying that we should give up on the person,
of course
we should prey for a breakthrough. We should carry each others burdens.
We should
be there for others. In time, and with lots of Love and Faith, the
person will
make it through.
We
may say "That person has backslidden, is possessed, or
any number of other things." Little do we know about what is going on
inside
that person. Are we not speaking a curse over that person when we say
those
things. Yes, there are Demonic forces are out there and do create a lot
of
suffering amongst Christians, and people are possessed, but, we need to
be sure
about what we say to others. Maybe they just need some TLC. A friend to
share
with without judgment or condemnation.
I
remember a few years ago I was in this same place. I
was in darkness and did not have any hope. Whatever anyone said to me
was like
a death sentence. I was lucky I met some kind people at a Church and
helped me
through.
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me how to Forgive myself and
others.
Let your Peace and Love for others be in my heart. Let your Spirit be
in this
situation and let your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
- Maintains
justice, honest to ourselves and others.
- If we
cannot be Honest with ourselves how
can we be Honest with others?
We all have our own understanding of what Justice
is. We mostly see Justice as a way to receive compensation for some
hurt or misfortune
that someone has done to us. It becomes personal, we can only see our
side of
the disagreement and how we have been hurt. Because our feelings are
self-centered we can lose sight of the bigger picture and deny the truth
about
what actually happened.
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to be Honest with myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for
others be
in my heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be
done on
earth, as it is in heaven.
- Lasting,
persistent, bears all things.
- If we
cannot be Enduring with ourselves
how can we be Enduring with others?
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to endure myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for others be
in my
heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be done
on earth,
as it is in heaven.