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Our Buttons




I’m sure you it has happened more than once where someone has said something or done something that has really upset you.

We are not perfect. We are only human. Mostly it is us and not Satan that creates problems. We are often our own worst enemy.
 
Most times people do not say or do things to each other out of malice or hatred. Most times we act out of ignorance or misunderstanding.

When someone says or does something to us we have the choice to …
React with our EMOTIONS (ego, pride, arrogance etc.)
Respond in LOVE (respect, kindness, humility etc.)

When we or the other person is stressed we/they are more likely to react rather than respond. Our brain processes information differently under stress. Often it is not what the other person says, but how it is said both verbally and non-verbally. We all pick up feelings from the person/people we are talking to.
 
What are our buttons that others push that make us react and not respond?
 
How do we recognise we are stressed?
 
How do we communicate to others when we are stressed?
 
How do others communicate to us when they are stressed?


Remember...
If we always look for love in others we may be disappointed. If we have an unconditional love for others, we will fulfil our father’s commandments and never be disappointed. The laws are designed to protect us from each other. If we have love and respect for others there will be no need for the laws. Unfortunately we are not perfect and there will always be a need for laws.
 
Always look for the good in others. Don't gossip.
Make a list of their good points, no matter how small and encourage/build on those (you will be surprised at the results).
Let the person know how well they performed.


Strategies …
 
Sometimes it is ourselves that need to change and not the other person or people.
Sometimes we need to ask our father how to LOVE the person or people that have upset us.
 
If you cannot talk to the person that has hurt you...


Tough Love
A lot of people talk about "Tough Love". Jesus never mentioned this. On the contrary, Jesus spoke about patience and kindness. He spoke about going the extra mile if they asked for an inch. He talked about turning the other cheek. It is really tough to LOVE your enemy. It can be tough to ask for forgiveness. Jesus did rebuke others out of LOVE. He got very angry when somebody did something out of self-righteousness or greed. He certainly reminded us who was in charge.
 
Tough LOVE has two dimensions. To LOVE our enemies can be very hard sometimes. Jesus asks us to make some tough decisions about how we should be living our lives. Jesus tells us to LOVE our enemies, to give to others without seeking reward. Jesus asks us to die to self and freely give to others. This can be really tough to do sometimes, especially when we have been hurt. To correct another person’s thoughts or behaviors about what is right and wrong can also be tough for a person NOT to do. How do we really know what to do in a situation? Do we admonish and judge the person out of self-righteousness of self-interest? How often do we jump to a conclusion based on our own experience or some preconceived ideas about the person?
 
"14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15 And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful." (Colossians 3 14-15 NIV)
 
"No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is truly in our hearts." (1 John 4:1)
 
 
A personal affirmation ….
 
"I am of god and the Holy Spirit lives within me.
I am patient and kind. I am not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. I do not demand my own way. I am not irritable, and I keep no record of being wronged. I do not rejoice about injustice but rejoice whenever the truth wins out. I never give up, never lose faith, am always hopeful, and endure through every circumstance." (Adapted from 1 Corinthians 13 4-7 NLT)
(Suggest putting on fridge or some other place.)


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