Love
is patient...
Love
is kind...
Love
is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude...
Love
does not demand its own way...
Love
is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged...
Love
does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins
out...
Love never gives up, never loses
faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance...
"Master,
which
is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt
Love the
Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all
thy mind.
This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto
it, Thou
shalt Love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all
the law
and the prophets." (Matthew 22
36-40 KJV).
"4 Love is
patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude.
It does
not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of
being
wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever
the truth
wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,
and
endures through every circumstance." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT).
"22 But the
fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness,
goodness,
faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there
is no
law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with
its
passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in
step with
the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each
other."
(Galatians 5:22-26 NIV)
Love is a joyful heart
that looks for the
beauty around it. Love is a thankful heart that makes the most of what
it has.
Love is kind to others. Love doesn't look for what it doesn't have but
freely
shares what it has. Love builds up and doesn't destroy. Love is a
childlike
innocence that is beyond human understanding. Love grieves when it has
been
hurt.
Love
has 7 parts...
Patient: Not jumping to conclusions or
making rash decisions,
Kindness: Gentleness, compassion, giving,
not envious,
Humble: Modest, not proud or rude or
arrogant,
Accepting: None judging, Non demanding,
accepting ourselves and
others for who they are,
Forgiving: Not irritable, not holding
past transgressions against ourselves
and others,
Truthfulness: Maintains justice, honest
to ourselves and others,
Enduring: Lasting, persistent, believes
all things, bears all
things.
Love
is a seed that God plants in us. The fruit of that seed is Love, Joy,
Peace, Forbearance, Kindness, Goodness and Faithfulness.
"3Listen! A farmer went out
to sow his seed. 4As he was
scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and
ate it
up. 5Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It
sprang up
quickly, because the soil was shallow. 6But when the sun came up, the
plants
were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. 7Other seed
fell
among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants, so that they did not
bear
grain. 8Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up, grew and
produced a
crop, some multiplying thirty, some sixty, some a hundred times." (Mark 4:3-8 NIV)
Love
has been planted in ourselves through the Holy Spirit. It must be
attended to
properly or it will not survive. God is the Father that we can ask for
support
and guidance when we fail. We are nothing without him. God is pleased
when he
sees his work yield worthy fruit.
Love
is a sacrifice. Just as the farmer, we need to prepare the ground in
ourselves
and others. We need to turn the ground over and remove the rocks and
other
impurities from the soil. We need to be able to provide water and
nourishment,
protect it from the pests and storms as it grows to maturity. We need
to
nurture the seed so it can grow strong and healthy so it will bare such
mighty
fruit that all will be astounded.
Sometimes
this is easy. For some God has been preparing their ground since their
birth
through their life experiences. Mostly it requires hard work and
frustration.
Birds and insects pick the young buds and disease will strike at the
roots and
branches and yield sour fruit. We need to be vigilant and be able to
decrease
or eradicate any threat to the young plant until its roots deepen and
its
branches strengthen. If a plant or a crop fails, we need to learn from
our
experiences and start again.
For others, it's
rocky and barren. Nothing will ever grow there, no matter how hard we
try.
Love
is something that takes us our whole life to learn and put in practice.
Just
when we think we have it right we become complacent and self-righteous.
Satan
then comes along and moves the goal posts. This is true, I have found
this out
from my personal experiences the hard way. We may think we have the
answer, but
we don't. We can only do our best and leave the rest to God.
Love
is not a formula that we can unpack and apply to any situation. It is
something
learned from experience. Of course we are going to make mistakes. We
need to
adapt to different situations. We are not perfect and God knows this.
It
is only through Jesus, through prayer and meditation, that we can have
a
relationship with our Father. When we ask him how we can Love others,
he will
show us.
- Not
jumping to conclusions or making rash decisions.
- If we
cannot be Patient with ourselves
how
can we be Patient with others?
Patience is self-control
in every
circumstance.
Patience
is giving others the benefit of doubt,
even when we feel uncomfortable.
Patience
is trying to understand others point of
view.
Patience is waiting for
something
to happen with eager anticipation.
Patience allows us to
realise our
goal.
It can be very hard to be patient in the world.
Things happen that are out of our control that have an impact on our
expectations, plans and goals in life. We have our own ideas about how
we
should be treated by others and if someone does not behave according to
those
expectations, or something happens that we don't like, we can lose the
plot and
become frustrated and angry with others or at a situation that we can't
control.
When
impatience gets the better of
us we focus of our own
feelings and desires, we don't want to see others point of view, it's
all about
me. Impatience can lead to
frustration, which can lead to self-centeredness, which can lead to
increased
stress and ill health, which can lead to anger and resentment, which
can lead
to a loss of reasoning and self-control, which can lead to extreme
violence.
I remember when I really needed something that was
really important to me. The more I didn't have it, the more I wanted
it. It was
destroying me. I used to Prey... "Farther, please give me patience NOW.
I need
it NOW." This is true, I have prayed this many times, and I suspect
there are a
lot of others that have done the same. Now that I'm older I can see
Father smiling
at me and saying to me "My son, you already have it. You are welcome to
use it
whenever you want to."
It's
like a car in our garage that
we know it's there. We
look at it and think it's a beautiful thing we have got. One day
someone comes
along and says "Wow what a great car. What's it like to drive?". "What
do you
mean?" you reply, "How do you drive it?". Isn't Patience a bit like the
car in
the garage? It's always been there but we never use it, or, don't we
know how
to use it. I'm still learning how to use it properly.
I
remember when I was a child my
mother dropped me off at
school. She said she would pick me when school was out at the end of
the day. I
remember going to the place where I was dropped off and waiting for her
return.
I waited and waited and waited, and waited (even a short time is a long
time
for a child), and finally she came. While I was waiting, all sorts of
things
came to mind. She forgot, she was sick, she had an accident, and worst
of all,
she had abandoned me. But I had no choice, I could not do anything but
to have
Faith that she would arrive. And finally she did. She apologised and
explained
why she was late. My Faith in her was restored.
Sometimes impatience can still get the better of
me. I still struggle when I am driving. There are so many people that
are
inattentive and have little regard for others on the road. I get
frustrated
with slow drivers that think everyone else should behave the same as
they do. I
really don't understand why some people drive at 75ks on the freeway on
a
Saturday afternoon.
When
I get a speeding ticket, or
are cut off by someone
else or stuck in traffic I may try to justify my actions by saying that
I am
late or some other lame excuse, and swear and curse at the officer, the
other
driver or the traffic. Don't we ever think that it's God's way of
slowing us
down.
Do
we ever think about the
consequences of our actions
and what could have happened? Doesn't God do this to us all the time.
His ways
are perfect. He knows us better than we know ourselves.
I
prefer to arrive early to an
appointment or function to
allow for unseen events that may happen. I can't see the point of
leaving late.
If I am traveling with another person and they are late, or like to
take their
time and not feel rushed, I feel uncomfortable and want to hurry them
up. The
other person may feel that I am pushing him and them becomes impatient
with me.
How
often do we try to explain
something to someone over
and over again and they still don't get it. They may ask the same
question a
number of times. Is this because the person just doesn't understand
what we are
saying because they are not listening? This happens a lot of times. Or,
is it because
we have not thought it through ourselves and assume the person knows
what we
are talking about and become impatient with the person because they
can't read
our thoughts. I am guilty of this. I do it all the time.
When
we take on a project we look
for the right advice
and then become impatient with ourself and angry with the next person
that
comes along when things go wrong. We may find other issues and problems
we did
not know or expect. We expect everything to go as we anticipate. We get
frustrated with ourselves and others. The more we try to fix things
when we are
impatient, the worse things get.
When
we fail in our project, how
often do we curse
ourselves and say "I'm a failure, Ill never make it.", or, "You're a
failure,
you will never make it.".
Shouldn't
we bless our selves and
others "Its OK, I have
Faith I'll get it the next time." We have Faith in our Father that he
will get
us through our impatience. We need to rest and take a deep breath, put
aside
the frustration and disappointment, and start again when we are the
right
Spirit. We need to be in a quiet peaceful place, in prayer, where our
Spirit is
with our Father. This gives us authority over impatience so that the
next time
it happens we have the experience, and tools, to manage it properly.
When
we are impatient with others
doesn't our Father slow
us down, or, wait until we ask him what to do. I have often asked
Father "Am I
really doing the right thing?" and he will speak to
me through others
to support me and help me in my time of need. My Faith in him is
restored.
Patience
comes from a Faith and
confidence that things
will work out the way they should, even if they are not what we may
have
expected, or even wanted. A sopiled child may be given whatever they
want,
whenever they want. Do they learn about Patience? Patience needs to be
experienced rather than learned. Today we live in an instant society.
We don't
need to put the time and effort into anything nowadays. Some Christians
may look
for instant gratification, they want it now, and become disapointed or
lose
Faith when it doesn't happen immediately.
Faith is like a bus timetable. We see on the
timetable that
the bus we want to catch will arrive at a certain time and dutifully
arrive at
the bus stop a few minutes before the arrival time of the bus. We wait
and
there is no bus. What has happened? Do we just leave the bus stop and
vow never
to return? Do we get angry with the others around us? Do we wait a bit
more for
the bus and then storm off? Or, do we have Faith that the bus will
arrive
eventually? Do we loose Faith completely if the bus never arrives?
Our Fathers timing is perfect. It is his in timing
and not
ours. "Now
faith is
confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not
see." (Hebrews 11:1 NIV)
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to be Patient with myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for
others be
in my heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be
done on
earth, as it is in heaven.
- Gentleness,
compassion, giving, not jealous or envious.
- Kindness
is something experienced and not
Learned.
- If we
cannot be Kind to ourselves how can
we be Kind to others?
"15
But you,
Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in
love
and faithfulness." (Psalm 86:15
NIV).
"34 Then the King will say to
those on his right, 'Come,
you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom
prepared
for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you
gave me
something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I
was a
stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me,
I was
sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit
me.'" (Matthew
25: 34-36 NIV).
Kindness
comes from understanding
the needs of others.
Kindness is a deep compassion for others. Did Jesus heal the sick
because he
was told to do it? Unfortunately we need to be told, it is not in our
nature.
We need to do it intentionally again and again until it becomes a part
of who
we are.
Anything
we do to ourselves or
others come from the mind.
The seeds of our thoughts come from our own expectations and
experiences in
life and how we have previously learned to cope with similar
situations in the
past. We generally treat ourselves and others the way we have treated
ourselves
and others before. It is an accustomed response because that's all we
know. We
need to learn a different behaviour.
We
need to understand that seeking
vengeance or hurting
others does not achieve anything. It may be a temporary solution. When
we have
gentleness and compassion for others we can help carry their burden. We
begin
to see their pain and bitterness. They feel Loved. They feel that there
is
someone they can talk to without being judged. We can share our own
story and
build a bond in Love. When they have peace and Love in their heart they
can
begin to Love themselves. We can encourage them to think about all the
wonderful things that they have been blessed with.
It's
the greedy, the angry, the
hated, the despised and
unloved we need to reach out to in Love. We need to show them that
there is
another way to live. We can give them shelter or something to help them
through
their time of need. We show them God's mercy and Love. We can tell them
that
they are not alone. We can tell them that there is a God with a
confidence that
can only come from a relationship with Jesus.
"7
Dear friends,
let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves
has been born
of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God,
because God is
love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and
only Son
into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not
that we
loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning
sacrifice for
our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love
one
another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God
lives in
us and his love is made complete in us."
(1 John 4: 7-12 NIV)
When
we have a genuine
unconditional Love for another, we
lose our own sense of self. We die to self. There is no anger,
jealousy, envy
or greed. We may experience something we have never experienced before.
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to be Kind to myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for others
be in
my heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be
done on
earth, as it is in heaven.
- Humility,
modest, not proud or rude or arrogant.
- If we
cannot be Humble with ourselves how
can we be Humble with others?
When
we are attacked for doing
wrong, shouldn't we be
humble. When we are attacked for doing what is right, shouldn't we have
the Joy
of the Lord who already knows what we do (1 Peter
3:14-17 NIV).
"Do
nothing from
rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than
yourselves." (Philippians 2:3 ESV).
Humility
in action...
You can defuse arguments when you are humble.
You can handle unfair treatment peacefully when you are humble.
You do not have to put on a "false front" when you are humble.
You can eat "humble pie" without being crushed when you are humble.
You can ask for forgiveness when you are humble.
You can talk with the right attitude when you are humble.
"Oh
Lord, it's hard to be humble
when I'm perfect in
every way" Song.
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to be Humble with myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for
others be
in my heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be
done on
earth, as it is in heaven.
- None
judging, non demanding, accepting ourselves and others for who we/they
are.
- If we
cannot be Accepting with ourselves
how can we be Accepting with others?
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to be Accepting to myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for
others be
in my heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be
done on
earth, as it is in heaven.
- Forgiving,
Not holding past transgressions against
ourselves and others.
- If we
cannot be Forgiving with ourselves
how can we Forgive others?
Forgiveness starts with
recognising
our own sin of unforgiveness of their sin against us.
Forgiveness is compassion
for ourselves
and others.
Forgiveness is
kind-heartedness to
ourselves and others.
Forgiveness is tolerating
the
behaviour of ourselves and the behaviour of others.
Shouldn't we bless the
ones that
curse us?
Shouldn't we bless the
ones that
hurt us?
Jesus
died on the cross for our sins. Shouldn't we
forgive them of their sins against us, as we were forgiven of our sins?
Shouldn't we just Love
them?
There
are 2 things that happen when we feel hurt by
events or actions against us.
1. Emotional
pain: We can become emotionally
attached to the event.
We
can let it conquer us, or
we can conquer it. We can let it pass through us and move on.
2. Physiological
Pain: The mind remembers the
event.
Our
whole life can revolve
around the event, or,
We
can learn from the
experience and help others in their time of need.
How
often do we condemn or crucify ourselves over what we
have done to ourselves? We may work out at a Gym to loose weight and
then walk
pass an ice cream shop and indulge in a few sweets. Later on we may say
to ourself "I
should never have had those treats.", "I'm a failure.",
"I
hate my self." There is judgment and
unforgiveness in our heart.
Shouldn't
we forgive ourselves and say "It's
ok I will try to go another way next time." After a
few unsuccessful attempts
at this, we finally get the message. For some this may take a long time
and they
may need lots of encouragement from others. To say to ourselves "I am
a failure." is like a death sentence.
How
often do we feel that we have nothing to forgive
ourself for? That person did wrong to us and we didn't do anything
wrong to
that person. Don't we feel hurt by that person and have unforgiveness
in our
heart against that person because they did to us. Our sin is taking
offence
when the person did nothing wrong in the first place and lash out
without
thinking. Most
of the time the other person is totally unaware that
they have hurt us through their words or actions. We need to let the
other
person know how they have hurt us, "I feel upset that you said that.",
or, "I
feel that I am being judged.", or, "I am not feeling respected",
or, "I am
unhappy that you feel that way."
Most importantly don't
accuse the other
person of anything. That's when we invite Satan to join us.
Sometimes
we are unaware that we have hurt another
person. When a person says something totally unexpected or lashes out
because
of something we have said or done to them, do we become offended and
tell them "You
have a rebellious Spirit", or, "Stop complaining and MAN up."?
Or
do we just brush it off with "Your
just being silly.", or, "Grow
up, and stop being a spoilt child.". Isn't it
better to say "I'm
sorry, please forgive me. How did I upset you?".
If
we can't recognise the unforgiveness in our own heart
how can our Father forgive us?
"30 And do not
grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of
redemption.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander,
along with
every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving
each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
(Ephesians 4: 30-32 NIV)
True
forgiveness cannot be forced. It can only come from
a compassionate heart. This comes from the Holy Spirit. We need to
change our
thinking. We need to speak life over ourselves and others. We need to
deliberately
change our thought pattens. It is the Spirit we battle with. Love can
be very
difficult when we hold on to past negative experiences and destructive
memories.
The
beginning of this process can be very challenging. We
need to be able to let go. We try to forgive them, but there is still
that
small seed of unforgiveness against them. We need recognise our own
sin, before
we can let go of any sin against others. It's only then that we can
forgive
them. We need to forgive our selves of our own anger and unforgiveness
before
we can forgive others.
God
is patiently waiting for us to acknowledge our sin of
unforgivness. He can not do anything until we do. For some this is
really hard
to do. They have had a lifetime of abuse and don't know any other way.
They may
need to consciously ask God to show them how to Love that person or
people. They
may need to look for the good in others and not the evil. They may need
to do
this intentionally again and again and again until they feel
forgiveness in their
heart.
God
will deal with the emotional experience, but will
leave the physical memory as a warning to us, or to protect us from
further
damage. God can turn the experience into a blessing if we let him. We
can use
this blessing to support and encourage others in their needs. We can
help carry
their burden because we have come out the other side stronger and
better
equipped to deal with it.
Most
of the time, when we say something to another, we
don't understand the power of our words or actions. We may say or do
something
out of total innocence, but, the other person will take it as an
offence or
judgment against them or their belief. They may be in a dark place and
only
see and hear anything as another brick in their wall. It's not there
fault.
They
may lash out at us because of the pain and suffering
they are going through. Its not really their fault. Most of the time
it's
because they really don't know what they are doing, they are on
autopilot.
I
remember a saying "It
takes two to Tango", that, "Both
parties involved in a situation or argument are equally responsible for
it." Aren't
we responsible for our own actions in what we say and do to
others.
"... 25 so that
there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have
equal
concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with
it; if
one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."
(1 Corinthians 12:25-27 NIV)
Sometimes,
it doesn't matter what we say or do, things
just get worse. We can try prayer, healing, fasting, encouragement
etc., but
nothing happens. I'm not saying that we should give up on the person,
of course
we should prey for a breakthrough. We should carry each others burdens.
We should
be there for others. In time, and with lots of Love and Faith, the
person will
make it through.
We
may say "That person has backslidden, is possessed, or
any number of other things." Little do we know about what is going on
inside
that person. Are we not speaking a curse over that person when we say
those
things. Yes, there are Demonic forces are out there and do create a lot
of
suffering amongst Christians, and people are possessed, but, we need to
be sure
about what we say to others. Maybe they just need some TLC. A friend to
share
with without judgment or condemnation.
I
remember a few years ago I was in this same place. I
was in darkness and did not have any hope. Whatever anyone said to me
was like
a death sentence. I was lucky I met some kind people at a Church and
helped me
through.
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me how to Forgive myself and
others.
Let your Peace and Love for others be in my heart. Let your Spirit be
in this
situation and let your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
- Maintains
justice, honest to ourselves and others.
- If we
cannot be Honest with ourselves how
can we be Honest with others?
We all have our own understanding of what Justice
is. We mostly see Justice as a way to receive compensation for some
hurt or misfortune
that someone has done to us. It becomes personal, we can only see our
side of
the disagreement and how we have been hurt. Because our feelings are
self-centered we can lose sight of the bigger picture and deny the truth
about
what actually happened.
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to be Honest with myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for
others be
in my heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be
done on
earth, as it is in heaven.
- Lasting,
persistent, bears all things.
- If we
cannot be Enduring with ourselves
how can we be Enduring with others?
Father
please forgive me of my sin. Please show me
how to endure myself and others. Let your Peace and Love for others be
in my
heart. Let your Spirit be in this situation and let your will be done
on earth,
as it is in heaven.